When the time comes

Lifeless shell
where the soul used to be
Where there were memories
Are now gone
Echoes of where the voice
Had resonated from
No more
No more
Gone
Taken away
Leaving those behind with a heavy
heart
Where have you gone?
Can you tell me?
Back to the dust?
If only you could share
How it feels
The inevitable
will come
When my time is done

RIP Apu <3

Love

Dear Boyfriend,

Thank you so much for your heartfelt letter:
Dear Mel,


Love Ajay


LOL!

But really, thank you for everything! I am so blessed to have you! You're the best birthday present in the world <3

Utter Disappointment, the uselessness of mournful behaviour

I do suppose that even after receiving these terrible marks there is no point in being so low in spirit. When I reflect on how I have been studying for most of this semester, I know I have slacked off to a great extent. Not only have I failed to reach my expectations but also I've put forth an obstacle for myself...one that only I can overcome. I am not really sure why I have been very irresponsible in my studies. Being in third year now, I guess it's because I just want to be over and done with school.
I shouldn't give up now. That would be pointless. Yet, I can't help but feel so miserable.

I am very happy and very much in love :3

When you make a promise

...they sometimes fall apart and break into millions of pieces. Then you wonder...where did it go?
I've made so many promises. But I want to renew this one in particular. To trust in God.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6

I can't help falling in love with you

Wise men say only fools rush in
but I can't help falling in love with you
Shall I stay
would it be a sin
If I can't help falling in love with you

Like a river flows surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
some things are meant to be
take my hand, take my whole life too
for I can't help falling in love with you

-Elvis

About Him

I've never liked speaking with anyone on the phone--at least not longer than 1 min--where all I'd have to answer are yes, no, okay. But this other person is different. We've revealed so much about each other. All our secrets---good, bad, funny, weird...it's so funny how this all started. Before I would only push myself to talk to him for ten minutes because I was not comfortable at all. However as time passed, we called each other more and more often...even until six o'clock in the morning...talking about nothing---only proclaiming endless loops of affection. I love you...I miss you...

It's so funny...I never really thought that I would get a boyfriend. I'm so awkward...I don't have much friends---My family was a mess...my dad did not have a stable job and was starting school---my grandparents had some messed up situation--parents were always fighting...yet...he came to me. God gave him to me---at the time where I was most lonely and sad. I am so thankful.

Ha ha ha...but not at first though. On my 19th birthday he gave me a card asking me to be his girlfriend. My whole family was there to witness it and the card was passed around while teasing me. I even ended up texting his sister my answer because a friend gave me his sister's number instead of his.

I thought it was really strange that he liked me. He was so quiet, reserved, always gave me this look that he didn't want to talk to me. When I found out he liked me I was so shocked. I was like: are you serious??--and I became so flattered and shocked and did not really know what to do. No one really "confessed" to me before.

This might be so cheesy...but I really appreciate how hard he tried to get my attention. That is why I love him so much. He is so hardworking and tries his best.
We were both new to the concept of being in a relationship. Even the part about of holding hands confused him "...is there a time when we're supposed to hold hands?"---

He took three buses to get to my school in the winter, he picked me up from my classes, we studied in the library, ate food together---all these things he remembers so clearly; like a picture.
I feel so different...I feel so happy. I feel so in love. On our first year together...I want to go back to that moment where we first realized our mutual love for one another; the snow falling softly from the sky.